What most husbands do that is hated
by their wives
By
By
In our book “understanding
the man you married’’ we present to the wives those things they usually do
consciously or unconsciously, which most husbands hate. If your wife has read
it, you will definitely notice some good changes in her behavior towards you.
In case she has not read it, try and buy her a copy; it will do your marriage a
whole lot of good.
Problems in the home are like accidents, they do not just happen; they are caused. In this series, we shall let the husbands know what women say, which husbands do, consciously or unconsciously that offend them. What you are about to read represents the general opinion of over hundred different women from all walks of life. We have decided to use “most women because the opinions are from most of the women interviewed. These attitudes according to these women are some of the major causes of serious problems in many marriages. Here are some complaints of most women against their husbands.
1. Most women get offended when their husbands allow their family members to take over their home.
Problems in the home are like accidents, they do not just happen; they are caused. In this series, we shall let the husbands know what women say, which husbands do, consciously or unconsciously that offend them. What you are about to read represents the general opinion of over hundred different women from all walks of life. We have decided to use “most women because the opinions are from most of the women interviewed. These attitudes according to these women are some of the major causes of serious problems in many marriages. Here are some complaints of most women against their husbands.
1. Most women get offended when their husbands allow their family members to take over their home.
Most
men fall victim of this act. This has caused most marriages to be ruined by
in-laws. Marriage can never be a happy one unless the man obeys the basic
principle of marriage: “A man shall leave father and mother and cleave to his
wife and both shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2: 24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10: 7
and Ephesians 5: 25-31). Because of the importance of this principle, it is
repeated in all four Bible references mentioned above. Let us explain briefly
the three words that make up the principle, namely: leaving, cleaving and one
flesh.
Leaving:
A man is to leave his father and mother: marriage is for men and not far boys. Only men who are matured are required to marry. As a child cannot grow up unless the umbilical cord is cut off from the mother, so marriage cannot grow up and develop if a man does not separate from his family. Leaving is a price of happiness. Your marriage cannot be free and happy if you are still under your parent’s control. Leaving protects your wife’s rights and puts her in control of the home.
Cleaving:
The man should cleave to his wife: To cleave means “to stick” or to be glued together.” Unless the man has decided to leave his parents, he cannot really cleave to the wife. Your wife wants to cleave to you, that is why she left her parents, abandoned her father’s name and picked yours. The best way to reciprocate is by leaving everyone else to cleave to her. When you are glued together with your wife like a paper, anything trying to separate you, is just trying to tear you, and eventually hurt you. When you cleave together, you are closer to yourselves than anyone or anything else (including your children, family and friends or work).
Both of you shall be one Flesh:
Leaving:
A man is to leave his father and mother: marriage is for men and not far boys. Only men who are matured are required to marry. As a child cannot grow up unless the umbilical cord is cut off from the mother, so marriage cannot grow up and develop if a man does not separate from his family. Leaving is a price of happiness. Your marriage cannot be free and happy if you are still under your parent’s control. Leaving protects your wife’s rights and puts her in control of the home.
Cleaving:
The man should cleave to his wife: To cleave means “to stick” or to be glued together.” Unless the man has decided to leave his parents, he cannot really cleave to the wife. Your wife wants to cleave to you, that is why she left her parents, abandoned her father’s name and picked yours. The best way to reciprocate is by leaving everyone else to cleave to her. When you are glued together with your wife like a paper, anything trying to separate you, is just trying to tear you, and eventually hurt you. When you cleave together, you are closer to yourselves than anyone or anything else (including your children, family and friends or work).
Both of you shall be one Flesh:
This
is the mystery of marriage - two individuals from different backgrounds,
exposures and temperaments coming together to become one in marriage. This
describes the physical aspect of marriage. When you and your wife become one
flesh, what hurts her hurts you. Your love is shown by giving her your body,
mind and heart without reservation, and in complete trust to her (1 Corinthians
7:4). When you become one flesh, you become more like each other - you look
alike, talk alike, behave alike etc. (just like my wife and I). Your wife is
supposed to knows all about you; what you have, your plans etc. You are then
two individuals joined into one without a joint. You have become inseparable.
The reason people separate or divorce is because they have never become one
flesh in the first place. It is impossible to separate if you become one flesh
with your wife.
2. Most women get offended when their husbands are unappreciative of their kind deeds. The best way to get a woman’s attention and love is by appreciating every little deed she does. Praise your wife for a little thing, and watch her do more. But when a husband pretends as if he did not notice what his wife did right, it discourages his wife. Every wife needs to hear from her husband words like: “I appreciate the way you work hard to take care of me and the family.” If a husband is careful to tell his wife that he appreciates, the interest she shows in him and the children, the wife will improve and do even more. Your wife wants you to give her more appreciation. Look for opportunities to appreciate her both in public and private. Most women love a husband who appreciates their efforts. We believe your wife agrees with this.
3. Most women get offended when their husbands neglect their emotions. As we said earlier, every woman has emotional needs which her husband is expected to meet. Men are not too emotional. In fact, most men have the problem of meeting their wives’ emotional needs. Most men have been accused of neglecting the emotions of their wives. Often times, most men are not careful to notice whether their wives are happy or not. We therefore conclude that any man who says so has an emotional problem himself.
Dear husband, you must put yourself in the shoes of your wife. You must create the spirit of unity so that you and your wife can share your joys and sorrows. Do not allow your wife to suffer emotional neglect simply because you have become a business tycoon, company executive or general overseer. Most women want their husbands to make out time to be with them no matter how busy they are. We believe your wife will be glad if you do so.
4. Most women get offended when their husbands scold them publicly. There are men who talk to their wives the way to talk they their little children. When a man does not respect his wife, he should not expect outsiders to respect her. Respect is reciprocal. Respect your wife, and she will respect you. Why should a man speak to his wife as if she is his house maid? The wife you dishonor is the wife that will disregard with you. Most women hate it when men scold them publicly. A woman said to us, “I prefer my husband to beat me than talking to me disrespectfully before the children and visitors.’’ It is ungentlemanly to scold, abuse, beat or disgrace a woman in the public. The wife you scold will be cold on the bed. Be kind to your wife. Talk to her in a gentle manner. Respect her, and lovingly correct her. Every woman including your wife appreciates this.
5. Most women get offended when their husbands expose their past life which they told them in confidence. It is trust and love that makes a woman to reveal to her husband her past negative experiences. It hurts a woman’s emotions when her husband uses her past life to abuse her. There is no one without an ugly past that he or she would like to keep to him/her self. But love and trust demand that one should share those experiences to the one he/ she loves. A problem shared is a problem solved. It is disheartening when you expose your wife’s past secret life. When you expose your wife’s secrets, you are also exposing your own secrets too. Even your wife will not be happy if her faults or past life is carried to the church or prayer meeting or discussed among the family, friends or relatives. Her secret is your secret. A husband is his wife’s confidant. Do not be among those men that use their wives’ faults or negative experiences to intimidate, harass of traumatize them.
6. Most women get offended when their husbands complain and never compliment.
Most husbands are very critical. There is
nothing their wives will do, they will not complain about. We hope you are not
one of them? If you have a critical attitude towards your wife, and only find
faults with her cooking or anything she does, it is natural for her to be
discouraged. No woman can be changed by criticizing her. Too much of criticisms
will definitely make a woman to be rebellious. If you want to get your wife go
extra mile to satisfy you, compliment every of her efforts. Remember we said
earlier that when a woman is happy, she can give everything she has. One way to
make her happy is to praise her always.2. Most women get offended when their husbands are unappreciative of their kind deeds. The best way to get a woman’s attention and love is by appreciating every little deed she does. Praise your wife for a little thing, and watch her do more. But when a husband pretends as if he did not notice what his wife did right, it discourages his wife. Every wife needs to hear from her husband words like: “I appreciate the way you work hard to take care of me and the family.” If a husband is careful to tell his wife that he appreciates, the interest she shows in him and the children, the wife will improve and do even more. Your wife wants you to give her more appreciation. Look for opportunities to appreciate her both in public and private. Most women love a husband who appreciates their efforts. We believe your wife agrees with this.
3. Most women get offended when their husbands neglect their emotions. As we said earlier, every woman has emotional needs which her husband is expected to meet. Men are not too emotional. In fact, most men have the problem of meeting their wives’ emotional needs. Most men have been accused of neglecting the emotions of their wives. Often times, most men are not careful to notice whether their wives are happy or not. We therefore conclude that any man who says so has an emotional problem himself.
Dear husband, you must put yourself in the shoes of your wife. You must create the spirit of unity so that you and your wife can share your joys and sorrows. Do not allow your wife to suffer emotional neglect simply because you have become a business tycoon, company executive or general overseer. Most women want their husbands to make out time to be with them no matter how busy they are. We believe your wife will be glad if you do so.
4. Most women get offended when their husbands scold them publicly. There are men who talk to their wives the way to talk they their little children. When a man does not respect his wife, he should not expect outsiders to respect her. Respect is reciprocal. Respect your wife, and she will respect you. Why should a man speak to his wife as if she is his house maid? The wife you dishonor is the wife that will disregard with you. Most women hate it when men scold them publicly. A woman said to us, “I prefer my husband to beat me than talking to me disrespectfully before the children and visitors.’’ It is ungentlemanly to scold, abuse, beat or disgrace a woman in the public. The wife you scold will be cold on the bed. Be kind to your wife. Talk to her in a gentle manner. Respect her, and lovingly correct her. Every woman including your wife appreciates this.
5. Most women get offended when their husbands expose their past life which they told them in confidence. It is trust and love that makes a woman to reveal to her husband her past negative experiences. It hurts a woman’s emotions when her husband uses her past life to abuse her. There is no one without an ugly past that he or she would like to keep to him/her self. But love and trust demand that one should share those experiences to the one he/ she loves. A problem shared is a problem solved. It is disheartening when you expose your wife’s past secret life. When you expose your wife’s secrets, you are also exposing your own secrets too. Even your wife will not be happy if her faults or past life is carried to the church or prayer meeting or discussed among the family, friends or relatives. Her secret is your secret. A husband is his wife’s confidant. Do not be among those men that use their wives’ faults or negative experiences to intimidate, harass of traumatize them.
6. Most women get offended when their husbands complain and never compliment.
Dear husband, start being careful to complain less. Say more positive comments and fewer negative ones. A man complains that his wife does not rest at home; she works so much in the house. The wife replied, “thank you my dear for your care, but all I want from you is to tell me, well done and thank you for keeping the house clean. That makes me happy.”
Rev. Blessing Rufus is a marriage counselor and author based in Enugu, Enugu State, Nigeria. He is also the President, Marriage & Family Health International – a non denominational family ministry and Rector, Institute of Marital Success, Email: blessingrufus65@yahoo.com, Facebook: www.facebook.com/blessingrufus Tel: 08035148133, 07030122546.
Gay
marriage: Anglican Communion sanctions church
The Anglican Communion has sanctioned a United
States (US) liberal branch for supporting same-sex marriage, a move that averted
a formal schism in the world’s third-largest Christian denomination but left
deep divisions unresolved.This is contained in a report by Estelle Shirbon of Reuters, adding that the Anglican Communion, which counts some 85 million members in 165 countries, has been in crisis since 2003 because of arguments over sexuality and gender between liberal churches in the West and their conservative counterparts, mostly in Africa.
She noted that following the four days of closed-door talks, the heads of the world’s 38 Anglican provinces said the liberal U.S. Episcopal Church would be barred for three years from taking part in decision-making on doctrine or governance.
Episcopal Church Presiding Bishop Michael Curry was quoted as saying that he remained committed to “walking together” with them as fellow primates in the Anglican family, but lamented their decision. “For fellow disciples of Jesus in our church who are gay and lesbian, this will bring more pain.”
Shirbon said the sanctions also prevent the U.S. church from speaking on behalf of Anglicans on inter-faith or ecumenical bodies and bars it from certain committees for three years, stressing that there were widespread fears of a schism ahead of the talks, which were convened by Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, the spiritual leader of Anglicans.
“One of the most outspoken conservatives, theArchbishop of Uganda, Stanley Ntagali, proposed at the talks that the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Church of Canada, which is considering also approving same-sex marriage, should withdraw from communion activities until they repent,” she stated.
According to her, the proposal was rejected, and Ntagali left the meeting early, although he stopped short of quitting the communion.
2016 will be a great year – Evang. Nwoye
Ogonna Umeh
The Parish Pastor in-charge of Paradise Parish, Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Ndikelionwu, Orumba North, Evangelist Friday Nwoye has predicted that 2016 will be a great year for those who have their faith and believe in Jesus Christ.
Speaking on the topic: “How to build our lives in Christ,” during his first Sunday of 2016 message delivered at the Parish, he noted that the salvation of every believer will only be fulfilled in God, adding that God has a lot in reserve for His people this year.
Evang. Nwoye said unless Christians build their lives in Christ, they cannot stand firm in this perverted world, noting that the problem with most people today is that they build their lives without Christ, without knowing that what matters most in any house is its solid foundation.
“Our education and civilization has failed us, and these are what God wants us to know this year. God wants us to know that whatever He has not approved will never come to pass. Unless we follow God’s mandate, we cannot make it in life,” he stated.
Quoting Psalm 127, where the Bible states that unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain, unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen watch in vain, he said that when people build their lives around Christ, it will definitely be a happy home, and that the contrary will bring sadness and frustration.
He noted that God is the architect and builder of life and without Him, no one can be anything in life, adding that the problem most people have is that they feel that following God’s standard is a long way and as such, they try to create a shortcut, which in most cases, ends in catastrophe.
He stated: “This is the time to humble ourselves before God, so that He will lift us up. He will do us well this year. A godly home cannot be built on worldly pattern. Some believers are not spiritual enough as to make good demands from God. Godly homes are designed from heaven, and not from this earth.”
Also making reference to Exodus 23:2 where the Bible encouraged the believers not to follow the crowd in doing wrong, and Romans 12:2, which talks of not conforming to world’s standard, but renewing of mind, Evang. Nwoye noted that people of today do not want to hear God’s word, but what their mind is saying to them.
Speaking further, he said that one new development in the Parish is that God has started to bring His own people, “God has His people that He kept somewhere, and He has started to bring them.”
He pointed out that these are the last days and as such, believers should keep hoping on God to wipe out their tears this year, adding that God has started a new thing in the lives of His people, and that He will definitely finish that which He has started.
Evang. Nwoye warned that God’s judgment has already started, and for people to avoid that judgment, they must turn to His Son, Jesus Christ who is the Savior of all mankind.
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